My Art is Dead, but that's okay

BBC - Everything and Nothing - Everything

2011-09-19T20:00:00.000+01:00

This is what I've been thinking about- no wonder I can do nowt! :)

Made it!

2011-05-10T00:04:00.000+01:00

"One day my son...."

It was a tough week, with an average of 18 hours working (both paid/ unpaid, for food/for love) a day, but I I got my camera obscura light tight, and my little cameras folded up. More to come over the following weeks, so more images to follow. but fo now... brain freeze! And also why I am so uncool in that picture!

Time to prick it again!

2011-04-14T23:41:00.000+01:00

Posters with paper cuts

2011-04-14T23:27:00.002+01:00

Oh so very busy at the moment, but I like it as it is all art related! Lots of exciting things coming up, and hopefully this blog will blossom into a hive of activity!

Firstly, I have now officially joined as a committee member of Coup Red and there is much work going on there. We have an exciting sound and installation show by Catherine Street and Kate Temple, I have my own work in a show in May with Axolotl Gallery (more to follow) and there are some very exciting talks/ events with the Fruitmarket Gallery with their upcoming show Narcissus Reflected. EEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeHHhhhhh!!!!!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall....

2011-04-10T21:55:00.001+01:00

The myth of Narcissus, as told by Ovid, of a beautiful youth infatuated by his reflection in a stream, who pines away and is metamorphosed into a flower, is open to many interpretations and has captivated a, perhaps surprising, number of modern and contemporary artists. This group exhibition examines the potency of the Narcissus myth in art, photography, installation, film and video. From Salvador Dalí’s painting Metamorphosis of Narcissus (1937) to Pipilotti Rist’s video installation Sip My Ocean (1996), the exhibition keeps in play the full variety of meanings of the myth, exploring, and seeking to explain, the enduring appeal of the Narcissus subject in art.

In surrealism, the use of the Narcissus myth reflects a preoccupation with myth in general, and Freudian psychoanalysis (in which the concept of narcissism plays a central part). Forming the centrepiece of the exhibition, Salvador Dalí’s famous painting is shown for the first time alongside the manuscript of the artist’s poem of the same name, and preparatory drawings showing the evolution of the work. A counterpoint to Dalí’s use of the Narcissus myth is San Francisco- based artist Jess’, Narkissos (1976–91). This major work references the fin-de-siècle, a period which saw the introduction of the term ‘narcissism’ to psychology. Jess’ principally collage practice was inspired by Max Ernst and surrealism, but also shares affinities with Pop and appropriation art. While his works are in major public collections in the United States, he has rarely been shown outside his home country and this is an opportunity to introduce his work to UK audiences through his most outstanding, and best-known, work. It also shows the legacy of surrealism in contemporary art, and the ongoing potency of the Narcissus myth to artists.

The exhibition also includes a selection of surrealist photography and film, exploring ideas of doubling of the self, mirroring and reflection, which all relate clearly to the Narcissus myth. These ideas are restaged in Yayoi Kusama’s immersive installation Narcissus Garden of 1966, whose kaleidoscopic techniques of fusion, duplication and distortion of the body chime with the work of Pipilotti Rist and, like that work, are reminiscent of surrealist engagement with Narcissus.

I am really excited about this upcoming exhibition at The Fruitmarket Gallery, Edinburgh. Funnily enough, some of my favourite shows have been exhibited there- no wonder I want to work there *hint hint* ! Anyway, the themes of reflection, mirrors, doubling and the use of mythology (in this case the story of Narcissus) is a sold winner for me! Assuming you know anything about me and my practice! :)

Finally it's spring

2011-03-22T13:47:00.001Z


(c) Steve Round

And with that comes light (essential for making decent camera obscuras!), more daylight to work in, warmer weather (which is welcomed in the tiny, unheated box~room~cum~studio) and general mood boosting properties! Ahhhh......

I'm still having some problems with my 'pages' regarding the daily actions, but rest assured I am still active and keeping a note of my ongoings. It is taking a form of scrap paper!

Not really much to report, as I have begun a new job search (with the new season comes new vigour) and I think it is time to move on and start making a commitment to what I want to do, or be, a creative person and not some machine that gets treated badly on someone else's whim. *sigh*

Lots of exciting things coming up however- looking forward to hearing about Scotland + Venice regarding Karla Black (love love love her work) at NGS. Better get the day off work!
A good friend of mine is actually going out to work there for a couple of months (jealous? Hell yeah! Happy for her? No doubt about it!)

sad (and minor angry) moment

2011-03-15T23:19:00.000Z

After the lovely light bulb one earlier, part of my blog has, well, gone! If you follow my blog, you may have noticed a line a pages below the header including two which start 'Daily Action...'. One of the pages has remained hidden due to a copy+paste error, where text and dates had got mixed up. But at least the text is there, just needs a bit of tidying up! That's fine. The second more current one has gone! Well, not all of it, but a weeks worth!!!

So, began searching my history, checking my settings, clearing caches and cookies, asking on blogger forums, and to no avail, I think it is gone. One week of daily actions. Shame, I thought I had some of my witter moments there. But a moment it is, once there and now gone. I suppose I shouldn't feel to precious about it. But at the same time I don't want to feel the need to 'back up' what I write or post as I never really review or spend time editing. I don't feel that is necessary as I write for me at the end of the day.

It's just, well, annoying! Now it's an annoying moment! But in true wabi sabi (which I am reading about) best just to let go!

An old reading list I came across from my undergraduate days.

2011-03-15T22:12:00.000Z

Benjamin, Andrew (ed.), The Lyotard Reader. Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1989 Bolt, Barbara, Art Beyond Representation: The Performative Power of the Image. London: I.B.Tauris, 2004 Crome, Keith and Williams, James (eds.), The Lyotard Reader and Guide. Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press, 2006 Docherty, Thomas (ed.), Postmodernism: a reader. Cambridge: Harvester Wheatsheaft, 1993 Kant, Immanuel, Critique of Judgement (trans. Werner.S.Pluhar). Indianapolis: Hackett, 1987 Lyotard, Jean François, The Differend: Phrases in Dispute (trans. Georges Van Den Abbeele). Manchester: Manchester University Press, 1988 Lyotard, Jean François, The Inhuman: Reflections on Time (trans. Geoffrey Bennington & Rachel Bowlby). Cambridge: Polity Press, 1991 Malpas, Simon, Jean François Lyotard. London: Routledge, 2003 The Deleuze Connections John Rajchman The Fold Deleuze Difference and Repetition Deleuze Art beyond Representation Barbara Bolt Persistence/ Transformation: Text as image in the art of Xu Bing Silbergerd and Ching Words for the Arts Council collection Art Council Collection You’ll Never Know Drawing and Random Interference Hayward Gallery Antony Gormley ‘Blind Light’ Hayward Gallery Chinese illustration Francis Wood The Muban Portfolio The British Library (private viewing) What the Chinese don’t eat Xinran Books requested and hope to read soon: A Thousand Plateaus Deleuze and Guttari Poetry, Language, Thought Heidegger Ecrits (the Mirror stage) Lacan CURRENT READING (continental aesthetics reader) JEAN PAUL SATRE ‘WHAT IS WRITING?’ EMMANUEL LEVINAS ‘REALITY AND ITS SHADOW’ MAURICE MERLEAU PONTY ‘THE INTERTWINING- THE CHIASM’ MAURICE BLANCHOT ‘THE ORIGINAL EXPERIENCE’ ANDREW BENJAMIN “THE LYOTARD READER” ‘ACINEMA’- THE NIHILISM OF CONVENED, CONVENTIONAL MOVEMENTS “NARRATIVE IS AUTHORITY ITSELF” Bibliography Texts Bogue, Ronald, Deleuze on Music, Painting, and the Arts, London: Routledge, 2003 Bolt, Barbara, Art Beyond Representation: The Performative Power of the Image, London: I.B. Taurus & Co. Ltd., 2004 Deleuze, Giles, Francis Bacon: The Logic of Sensation, translated from the French by Daniel W. Smith, London: Continuum, 2003 Deleuze, Giles, The Fold: Leibniz and the Baroque, foreword and translation by Tom Conley, London: Continuum, 2006 Deleuze, Giles and Guattari, Felix, A Thousand Plateaus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia, translation and foreword by Brian Massumi, London: Continuum, 2004 Gowing, Lawrence and Hunter, Sam, Francis Bacon, foreword by James T. Demetrian, Published on the occasion of the exhibition ‘Francis Bacon’ 1989-1990, London: Thames & Hudson, 1989 *Heidegger, Martin, Poetry, Language & Thought, translation and introduction by Albert Hofstadter, LOCATION: Harper & Row, 1975 Merleau-Ponty, Maurice, The Visible and the Invisible, followed by working notes, Edited by Claude Lefort, translated by Alphonso Lingis, Evanston, USA: Northwestern University Press, 1968 *O’Sullivan, Simon, Art Encounters Deleuze & Guattari: Thought beyond Representation, LOCATION: Palgrave Macmillan, 2006 Rajchman, John, The Deleuze Connections, Cambridge, Massachusetts: The MIT Press, 2000 Sylvester, David, Looking Back at Francis Bacon, London: Thames & Hudson, 2000 Varnedoe, Kirk, Pictures of Nothing: Abstract Art since Pollock, Washington: Princeton University Press, Board of Trustees, National Gallery of Art, 2006 Vergine, Lea, Body Art and Performance: The Body as Language, Italy: SKIRA, 2000 Vidler, Anthony, Mitchell, W.T.T. and Stewart, Susan, Antony Gormley Blind Light London: Southbank Centre, Hayward Publishing, Arts Council England, 2007 Web sources Benjamin, Walter, The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction, source: UCLA School of Theatre, Film and Television; transcribed by Andy Blunden 1998: proofed and corrected Feb.2005. http://www.marxists.org/reference/subject/philosophy/works/ge/benjamin.htm Accessed 10/10/2007 Greenberg, Clement, Autonomies of Art, extract from ‘Moral Philosophy and Art Symposium’, Mountain Lake, Virginia, October, 1980, http://www.sharecom.ca/greenberg/autonomies.html Accessed 19/11/2007 Readings, Bill, “Postmodernity and Narrative: (1) Narrative and Figure: From Narrative Form to Performance as Event” from the text, Introducing Lyotard: Art and Politics, Florence, KY, USA: Routledge, , 1991, http://site.ebrary.com/lib/dundee/Doc?id=10017&ppg=114 Sinha, Amresh, Adorno on Mimesis in ‘Aesthetic Theory’, source: In Practice: Adorno, Critical Theory and Cultural Studies, editors Briel, Holger and Andreas Kramer Bern: Lang, 2000, pp.145-159 http://www.wbenjamin.org/mimesis.html

Lightbulb moment

2011-03-15T16:43:00.000Z

Not a personal epiphany but a really cool candle! Isn't this just lovely- and it's made of beeswax which is an even bigger plus, but they are made in Australia, so not going to justify they flight to make it over here!

Still not feeling so great. Shame really, I've had 10 days off from my paying work, and was hoping to do some serious personal work, but not had the energy and been run down with perhaps a bug or something. And then I've been obsessed with following the events in Japan and the Arab states...

There has been some progression, more doodles, and I participated in the Live Action workshop hosted by JB in Dundee. Taking more photographs, tidying and reorganising notes and finding things of a renewed interest.

It's been pretty good. I won't go on about what I didn't achieve, but focus on what I did. That's a better attitude. Oh, there was a light bulb moment after all! :)

Sleep...

2011-03-14T17:11:00.000Z

Feeling a little under the weather so things are at a bit of a standstill. But here is a little image which just makes me smile. I am often described by my other half as being a "wee beastie making a burrow" especially if that burrow is in a duvet! I'm also a pig (in Chinese horoscopes thank you) and when watching a TV programme once, wombats made an appearance- and they are furry pigs that live in burrows!

I have my calling...

Recycling

2011-03-08T22:39:00.000Z

My work always comes back to itself in some form on another, a snake eating its tail. And recently I've been examining my own work with a more critical eye alongside the artists and peers that I research. These following images are actually on film so hence why no one sees them as I tend not to scan my film work. But for the sake of proper documentation, it is useful to have duplicates!

Oh good grief...

2011-03-05T20:53:00.002Z

blush!

Dead Calm

2011-03-05T00:28:00.000Z

that's how I felt, a dead Kam.

It started well enough. Visited the City Art Centre and saw the Iain Hamilton finlay beofre it finished. Very good! I love the humour added to the screenprints, and working with the text is such a simple communicative but complex manner is just lovely to see. The photographs of Little Sparta were beautiful, kept small and contained to echo the intimacy of the space. I especially like the one with 'fragile' carved into rock, and due to long exposure, the leaves and plants nearby are soft blurs, and yet the text remains strong.

Pop over to see Jean- Marc Bustamante Dead Calm. Part I liked, part, I was unsure. I didn't have much time as it was before work, so I think that kind of show requires the time to interact with it. It isn't one to hit you and inspire, but slowly embed messages like a drip. Not quite sure what imagery is going on there, but then it is after midnight!

Picked up frieze, off I went, and things pretty much went downhill from then. Hence, the dead Kam.

New colour

2011-03-04T01:22:00.000Z

You may have noticed if you have ever been here before, that I have had a change of colour. In my art practice, I am OBSESSED with the shades of grey, but in my every day life, it is mint green, navy blue, lemon yellow, coral, off-white, olive green, cherry blossom pink, aubergine... basically colour! So, since I am attempting to spend more time researching and acting in my life and art as general, I thought I would add a bit of colour as see what happens....

I may be changing the hues until I'm happy, and may end up back at paler than pale grey. It is sooo beautiful afterall.

kx

Body Weather - Body/Landscape

2011-03-03T15:43:00.000Z

An extract from re-title.com

Body/Landscape England 2011

Body Weather - Body/Landscape
Intensive 7-day workshop in the Lake District in North West England. This is an area of great natural and poetic beauty that was designated a National Park in 1951. The Lakes were shaped by periods of glaciation giving the area its diverse landscape of high rocky fells, lower open moorlands and diverse woodland.
The workshop will be based in the small village of Bassenthwaite, adjacent to Bassenthwaite Lake.
Body Weather - Body/Landscape : The basic training and point of departure for this workshop, Body Weather is a comprehensive training and performance practice that investigates the intersections of bodies and their environments. Bodies are not conceived as fixed entities, but just like the weather, constantly changing through an infinite and complex system of processes occurring in- and outside of these bodies. Taking Body Weather into the landscape, the aim is to explore and develop consciousness of the body itself being an ever evolving landscape within a greater surrounding landscape.
Programme will include *MB -(mind/body, muscles/bones) dance training *practice of and reflection on physical and mental training *walking and wandering, silent walk, pilgrimage and nocturnal journeys *various modes of experiencing body, movement and landscape *investigating divergent senses of space and time *peripatetic records, drawing, writing, immediate contact with surroundings *mental topography of a location, myth, archaic mind and genius loci *Local geology, archaeology and history An integral part of the workshop will be the individual artistic projects that participants are encouraged to formulate and work on for about 2 hours a day. (in the fields architecture, landscape art, dance, performance, photography, sculpture, theatre, visual arts, biology and natural history). The workshop leaders are available to guide and support these processes.
Participants profile: for artists and advanced students working in the fields of performance, dance, landscape art, sculpture, photography, architecture, theatre, visual arts, biology and natural history.
Selection of participants will be based on c.v. and motivation. No previous (dance) training is necessary but the workshop will be physically demanding, therefore a good overall condition is required.
Frank van de Ven is a dancer and choreographer who spend his formative years in Japan working with Min Tanaka and the Maijuku Performance Company.
In 1993 he founded together with Katerina Bakatsaki 'Body Weather Amsterdam', a platform for training and performance. Since 1995 he conducts with Milos Sejn the interdisciplinary Bohemiae Rosa Project, connecting body and landscape with art, geology and architecture. He is a regular guest teacher at the SNDO (school for new dance development) in Amsterdam. Films (video and 16mm): Dancing Plasy Times 8, CI-VIT, LOM & NOUGHTS.
For a flyer and more details of the workshop, please email: neilca@hotmail.com
For more info on Body Weather Amsterdam see http://bodyweatheramsterdam.blogspot.com

Intrigued? I am...

Spring is sprung(ing)!

2011-03-03T15:17:00.000Z

Okay, that doesn't make much sense, but after a long cold dark few months of rejections, frustration and general doom, things are starting to lighten up. And suddenly, I see I've been so out of the loop! There are so many good exhibitions that have passed me by, and I'm like, "where was I? Oh yes, up my own... " Some are finishing soon, such as Iain Hamilton Finlay at the City Art Centre that finishes this Sunday 6th March. Some are opening like Claude Cahun/ Sue Tompkins at Inverleith House and new spaces like SUPERCLUB - all very exciting things.

I went along to SELECT hosted by my friends of Coup RED. It is an informal gathering to chat about what is going on, what has happened, to share information and to discuss = art! It was really good for me, as I have been locked away in my inner turmoil just winding myself up rather than actually doing anything.

I've began taking notes, doodling (last night I realised I use to draw all the time as a child, and now Ive become scared of looking like a failure that I stopped! how absurd! ) re-reading Derrida's Cinders which is such a beautiful book to read, and taking photographs with my SLR.

I am going to partake in an invitation extended to me from another good friend (thank you) to join in at Live Art Crash Course with D-air which I beleive will create a necessary balance, and get me back to what I practice, that art is a verb.

All good stuff. And the light is at the end of the tunnel...

opportunity strikes

2011-02-28T00:15:00.000Z

sometimes I feel like I am on the brink f giving up, especially after four failed applications in succession. Bummer!

But a very good friend may have thrown me a life raft (or is it life rope, no life boat, wait life LINE!) Anyway, a new buzz is brewing inside me again. Maybe I can put something to sleep and move onto something else.

Question, how would one 'cure' themselves as if they were a piece of meat? Maybe I should wait until my eczema has cleared a bit more before dousing myself in salt- gotta sting!

amazing tape!

2011-02-20T23:39:00.000Z

'MT FOTO' is a new Japanese-made brand of masking tape for photographic use. Made of Washi paper, it is thin with great strength, flat, heatproof, and the black is light-tight. The tape is easily tearable, and leaves little or no residue after removal. Available in a variety of colours in 25mm & 50mm rolls. Normal core size to fit the usual dispensers.

Anyone else obsessed with Japanese Masking tape! I am even more so now! Kawaii!!!!!!

Enter spring please

2011-02-16T22:06:00.000Z

I am longing for the light and freshness that comes with the change in seasons. It feels like a renewal within, and that is something of value at the moment.


first snowdrops spotted!

I've been reading/watching a lot of manga online via anymanga.com and Anime44. When I think of spring, I think of Piku. CUTE!

Lots of thinking about renewal today...

argh

2011-02-15T19:18:00.000Z

All I seem to do is whine and moan about the lack of production and the general mental block I have. How boring! I truly am getting fed up with myself. There is nothing really to blame except for myself. Yes, I may work a lot, but so do a lot of my fellow artisans. Yes, I may lack studio space, but I probably have more space that some in my boxroom. Yes, I may lack financial backing, but some manage to create out of nothing. Yes, I have a mental block, but that doesn't seem to stop others... Do I see a pattern emerging from here? How tiresome!

All these artist networks which have the principle of creating communication paths to other like-minded persons and the opportunity to showcase your work so in the hope you get discovered has become a minefield for me. I just stare at my old images, nothing new in months, even a year, and sigh at my failings. I flick through people I know and those I don't and see on there profiles new work, new upcoming shows, recognition here and there and a general go-getting attitude. Envy is so horrible.

I recently rediscovered my Saatchi Online page, having forgotten about it, and it had my undergraduate work on it only. On Central Station, I have pitfully put up a few from my Masters and an old statement of practice, and on this very blog. I hardly attend to it the way I should, or the way I think it ought to be maintained.

How can progress exist if I am always looking behind my back? I feel a storm brewing...

Kung Hei Fat Choi

2011-02-03T16:41:00.000Z

Happy New Year! Welcome in the Year of the Rabbit out of its burrow and into... what's that? Howling wind, horizontal rain, freezing temperatures! Get back in that burrow... I know I am!

Slowly, a table and floor emerges

2011-01-07T22:52:00.000Z

As promised, keeping more updated! Lots still to do! I've began by trying to organise my space so I can actually work instead of using it as a dumping ground! it's amazing how much research I've collected over the past few years, and so much handwritten! Ouch! As well as just tidying up, I've been trying to write a proposal for a fellowship whose deadline is fast approaching- I despise these things. To talk yourself up in such a way, just gives me the shivers! I'm verging on begging... I also have been spending. I got myself some typewriter ribbon, yeehaa! It doesn't fit on my typewriter as it's an olde one, but I'm just going to cut the ribbon off and attach it onto the existing spools, clever huh :)

This Thursday is Camera Club at Stills. I haven't been properly in such a while mainly due to working late on Thursdays that I'd miss most of it. The theme this month is 'fun'. I have taken the use of grammar literally. I'll post the images soon once I get them resized.

New studio set up!

2010-12-29T22:42:00.001Z

Phew! I've been trying to sort out my 'studio' for some time, and it's been difficult as it must multitask as soon many things. It isn't a lot of space, but then again, my studio spaces at uni were never very big. Some magazine files, a good bit of shredding old documents etc. And it's still a mess! But with organising, it always looks worse before it gets better. I thought I'd post some images of inspiration of ideal spaces and objects that would enhance my dream space. It's getting there, at least I can see the floor!

Pedlars

trainspotters.uk.com

housetohome.co.uk

Almost 2011

2010-12-29T22:41:00.000Z

Did you have a nice Christmas? Mine was pleasant, quiet affair spent with loved ones and was rather short due to work commitments. I fins that I am often agreeing to do lots, but often not that which benefits me or my own personal work. So I am going to attempt to follow a timetable. Just like work is rota'd in, I am going to rota in 'work' time, i.e. things which are towards my own practice. I suppose it's all about balance, and I have certainly been off balance recently.

So, I intend to tidy up my materials and work space to prepare a creative environment, just like when setting up your new studio space each semester. I aim to visit a gallery/museum at least fortnightly. I will start using my printmakers and photography memberships more. And chart my progress better on my blog. All fine and dandy saying this now, but it's getting into the habit.

First mission is to tidy up. Gulp!

Happy Hogmany when it comes and see you in 2011!

Test

2010-11-26T19:56:00.000Z

This a test to see if emailing directing from my mobile works as it hasn't before!
Sent from my BlackBerry smartphone from Virgin Media

Under construction

2010-11-26T19:37:00.000Z

My apologies, but this blog is going under reconstruction. i use to find it a valuable resource, but things have changed, and my working practice has evolved (or dissolved) a little. So in order to make it bang up to date, I am spending time collecting my resources and editing the links so that they have a purpose once more. However, to do this in a way that makes the most sense to me, I am doing it manually.

Please be patient. I realise when i say these things, I'm never sure if anyone ever reads them. so perhaps more a mental note for me. GET YERSELF SORTED AND TIDY UP!

Keep Kam and Carry on

2010-08-31T00:11:00.000+01:00

My first day off for a month today. Yes, I had a weekend away to visit my adorable new nephew, but it was a pretty tiring weekend! I spent the day doing... nothing! And about time too! I went for a walk- through parks, along the river, and to the botanic gardens. Many things to be found that made me smile (especially the potatoes, courgettes and conkers to be found).

In the evening, I attended the Celebration of the work and life of Edwin Morgan at the Edinburgh Book Festival- and it was a joy! I have loved his poetry since i was introduced to his work in school. And it has really made me think. He was so passionate about writing and creativity till his last days, and he was 90!!!

My volunteering days are being put on hold! It's time to properly set some time to do something! Many good friends are productive, ambitious, inspired and doing- something that I lack. JB has his amazing initiative D-AIR in Dundee (and beyond) which never ceases to amaze me in its rhizomatic growths; Emily (a fellow blogger) and her design blog is visual sketchbook of teasing and playing with ideas, and Catriona Whiteford is ploughing her own way with Coup RED and forging connections where none laid before.

I envy them. I admit it. I seem to lack the courage to actually DO something. Yes, I have attempted proposals, but never send them. Yes, I start something, but get discouraged and ruin them, Yes, I continue to research, but what good is a pile of stuff with no beginning.

I feel I am not quite here. As someone once said to me, don't lose yourself in volunteering. Essentially, don't do so much for others that you don't do anything for yourself. Time to Keep 'Kam' and Carry On...

Absence by Edwin Morgan

My shadow --
I woke to a wind swirling the curtains light and dark
and the birds twittering on the roofs, I lay cold
in the early light in my room high over London.
What fear was it that made the wind sound like a fire
so that I got up and looked out half-asleep
at the calm rows of street-lights fading far below?
Without fire
Only the wind blew.
But in the dream I woke from, you
came running through the traffic, tugging me, clinging
to my elbow, your eyes spoke
what I could not grasp --
Nothing, if you were here!

The wind of the early quiet
merges slowly now with a thousand rolling wheels.
The lights are out, the air is loud.
It is an ordinary January day.
My shadow, do you hear the streets?
Are you at my heels? Are you here?
And I throw back the sheets.

One mad, mad August

2010-08-25T17:36:00.000+01:00

Been sooo incredibly busy that I haven't had time to think let alone practice! I'll be glad when August is over. I have started a new job (hurrah! money!) at Habitat which I find most amusing (see last post)! And have been working as another volunteer at the Edinburgh Mela and Edinburgh Art Festival.

I look forward to the end of the festival season. I haven't had a chance to see or expereince anything really, but maybe I can catch a few things towards the beginning of September. The reason I look forward to the autumn as I feel it is my kinda season, When things change and retreat indoors. Don't get me wrong, I love the spring and summer, but there is something said about those days when you read, think and reflect that I am looking forward too. And it's back to school time! I never really feel January is the start of the year, it's always been end of August, and the start of school. Even now, i hark to days of making the effort to polish my shoes, line my clothes up and sharpen up my pencils!

Time to make good use of those skills again!

Happy Habitat and Blips!

2010-07-11T15:03:00.000+01:00

I heart Habitat!
I just love the simplicity of so much of their design, the playfulness and the use of wood, metal and glass. Irk, give me a job there and I'd happy polish everything with a microfibre cloth!
I have been playing with my new camera, chosen for the great shutter speed options and ISO range, so looking forward to investigating new ideas and work with my new friend!

Also, I now have a Blip Journal! Don't know what that is? Let me explain. I really should have taken one up ages ago, but I have been Blipping for Stills instead of myself. Blipfoto is an online photo journal set up to be super user friendly and allows you only to put up one picture per day. The guys are actually based in Edinburgh, and we've had a few conversations with them via Stills. It's pretty revolutionary what they have achieved and its a global success. It's a great way to keep yourself active and creative. Something I could definitely use.

But yesterday I took so many photos, I couldn't Blip them all, so here some of them are, that made me go 'Hmmm... oooh... *BING*' (the bing refers to a lightbulb moment)

Brian's baking mmmm

Grey and Grey (gotta love grey!)

cute animal shadows - I want but cannot have

A new meaning to Fishbowl

I love these fairy lights

Funky lamp like studio lighting

Time files when your watch has stopped

2010-07-09T00:07:00.000+01:00

Need a new battery.

I cannot believe that it's July. I haven't been as productive as I had hoped. But slowly, I'm getting there. Finally I am a member of Edinburgh Printmakers, so all I need to do is start printing! Well, I need to find something to print...

I've been continuing to practice yoga, which I believe is helping in my general attitude to things in general, and is providing more energy. Still unemployed, by continue to help out here and there at Stills and future volunteering ahead as well. Which makes for an interesting thought regarding the current cultural climate regarding 'interns' (unpaid workers). Another blog pondering I think. Part investigation, part grumblings.

But lets be more positive! The weather has been a touch cooler, with fresher winds welcoming. I continue to present my practice ideas within the framework of Stills Camera Club, and that helps me to assess myself most of all- am I still passionate/ curious/ interested in exploring dot dot dot- so at least once a month I get a bit fired up.

Got a clock now instead...

(images aren't uploading for some annoying reason, so will amend this post later....)

New discoveries from old sources

2010-06-30T14:32:00.000+01:00

Handy things cleaning. My laptop has been playing up a bit, getting slower (well its a ibook G4- about 5 years old now but still going strong!) So I have been cleaning up the old files and transfering things to my portable harddrive to free up space. But it has also been freeing up space in me in the process.

When I was younger (in fact nothing has changed now that I am older) but when I tidied up my room, I would pull everything out from under the bed, out of drawers, from boxes and shelves, but then instead of putting it all back neatly, I would spend hours sitting amongst everything. Re-reading old magazines, playing with old forgotten toys, listening to tapes with no writing on them trying to remember the order of songs...

Even in this digital age, I do the same. I pour over all the numerical jepgs, giving forgotten mementos names to archive, reading old essays and quotes that were so important, and still hold some weight, finding videos from my old mobile of studio musings. Good times.

A nice time to reflect.

Also, I have become an auntie again :)

Cooking with Gas....

2010-06-27T20:06:00.000+01:00

... okay it may just be a camping stove at the moment, but it'll be a full range in no time!

Just a quick post so I don't forget about a few things that I've been thinking about...

EGGS. PAPER. SCALPEL.

Let's have a sit down and a nice cup of tea

2010-06-26T12:47:00.000+01:00

First day in ages, I finally put up a post, and lo behold 2 comments from two exceptionally gifted artists, who feel exactly the same way! I know I wasn't alone in feeling this pathetic despair but at the same time, actually hearing it makes one feel so much better, so less lonely.

Thank you for this.

I keep meaning to update the links to the side of this post, many things have changed. Pamela So sadly passed away earlier this year, and I would like to post something of the work we did together- I was so grateful to be able to work with her.

My research has changed so dramatically in recent months. The other day I was hosting a reading group, and I wanted some images to illustrate some of the points in the text (more info will follow in another post) but I realised that although I am a visual artist, I have a surprising lack of books with ANY pictures in them.

Words. Words. Words.

Of course! Duh! All the books I had with all the inspirational images were from the LIBRARY!!!! Need to check out the fine art library and maybe see if I can squeeze into ECA (somehow?). I miss DoJ. But then there is always Amazon, and birthday/christmas wishlists to compile.

What I miss the most, is my peers. The daily communication and critical feedback that you share. Fears, worries, aspirations, ideas, techniques, dreams, discoveries... all these wrapped up with your studio buddies.

So I will aim to sit down, cup of tea and maybe a few dozen dark chocolate digestives (brand name only please ;P) and begin to PROPERLY share my process. Not just a site for showing off finished work, but a dialogue.

Frustration

2010-06-25T18:58:00.000+01:00

Hey, not really been keeping up to date with the blogging as I had hoped, but mental blocks and general low energy have been keeping me from feeling inspired. There really is no preparation for the post art school depression- Are you lucky to find a job in the Arts, and if so does it pay? Do you have space to call a studio, or a corner of the kitchen table? Do you have the incentive to create, or feel guilty when you do or don't?

I feel I am surrounded by creative people and I am bursting with ideas, but finding the means to support them, including just getting myself to not feel guilty because it isn't time wasting, can be, well, frustrating!

So time to get proactive! Been in Edinburgh now for 6 months, continuing to help out at Stills, so keeps me in the 'arts' so to speak, going to volunteering at the Edinburgh Mela as an artist liaison, and had my induction at Edinburgh Printmakers, so all I gotta do is start printing!

So going to start carrying a camera everywhere, start documenting my progress more, start keeping a better sketchbook, and hopefully start blogging again!

Wish me luck!

2010-04-18T16:55:00.001+01:00

2010 so far

2010-04-18T16:40:00.002+01:00

The past 4 months, I have been working. Not on my practice, not on my reading, not on my writing and unfortunately, not on any baking. I coming to the end of my internship as Research and Development Assistant at Stills, Edinburgh, and currently I am also working as an intern for Professional Registration and International Curators visits at the Glasgow International Festival of Visual Arts. It's been very very busy... and not much time to reflect, especially when it comes to keeping up to date with this blog. But being surrounded by all this art, culture and debate, has sparked my interest once more. I feel more rested post Masters, I feel curious, excited and ready to look back at my old work and think about what I want to do. Another reason, the sun has returned. And when building camera obscuras... that's a big ingredient.

Images from the exhibition

2009-12-08T18:01:00.003Z

Images from the exhibition

2009-12-08T17:49:00.002Z

Sorry for taking like an age to update this, things have been hectic of late! But all good stuff included! Thought it'd be nice to finally post some images from the show that I was in up in North Uist, where net some lovely people (surely) and got blasted by some Atlantic sea gust! No otters made an appearance.

O Nought Zero

2009-10-25T16:33:00.001Z

The background

2009-09-24T20:23:00.002+01:00

The following is from a piece of text that I had in my studio during my assessment to be my voice that guided the assessors to the research I had carried out over the final semester that was oure practice compared to semester 2 which became pure dissertation...

86 black bin liners, over 100 metres of parcel tape, 10 rolls of black insulating tape, 3 weeks, and over 400 digital images…

Photographic research: 35mm film (black and white and colour), Holga medium format plastic camera, 4x4 pinhole camera, modified Kodak Brownie, digital camera, and finally the camera obscura.

Exploring the themes of the Art of Mourning in the use of materials related: bone ash, hair, dust, rice flour, light

Use of different grains- the grain of paper, a grain of rice, the grain of the photograph

Dust breeding traces… Drawing with light to create shadows cast off my body/ objects

Sally Mann photographer and aesthetics,What Remains, with images of traces of an existence as well as the decay process of death, not as something morbid, but as ghostly revitalisation. Bodies that return to the earth to create a new life, as well as new knowledge.

The plates of duagerrotypes with the image beyond the surface it lies on, it is beyond or floating in front of.

Interacting inside the body of a camera: the camera as a collecting chamber to give birth to the image; like the internal womb.

Forcing the digital camera close to the point of failure, where it is at its limits to reading the limited available light. 35mm film cameras shutter speeds were to fast, and rendered blank film. The Kodak brownie (modified to take 120 film rather than 116) successfully rendered some images due to its ‘B’ setting, allowing for an open aperture. The pinhole camera produces an image at a minimum of 10 hours, however, night will fall at some point…

Trace drawings on rice paper with ink, drawn with brushes made of my own hair. A material that is always dead and yet continues to produce. The ‘hairbrushes’ trace with their own trace a delicate line of the moving image of the obscura.

The body as a surface to receive an image is whitened to intensify its potential as a blank canvas. This is created with the use of clay mud, talc and rice flour; a nod towards the bone china ceramics and the paper grain.

Experimenting with different production techniques: research into photograms, salt printing, acrylic gel inkjet transfers, screenprinting. To produce an image that would evoke the memory of the obscura- something transferred that is created through reversal, imprinting, an echo, not solid…

Additional work includes collaboration with Jonathon Baxter’s Invitation to Exchange, where through the passing of objects, our ‘beings’ become mixed and identity is blurred in appearance. A trance like state is issued, where no communication occurs. Items of clothing are exchanged, as if I am given licencse to become another. The opportunity for play is exploited, and through this interaction with another is very much a different contrast when ‘performing’ alone to light. The same trance like state occurs but you become less aware of yourself as a person. Stripped of an appearance as you cannot see yourself, only the image.

Gallery Statement

2009-09-09T12:30:00.001+01:00

Through the transient being of the shadow, can I experience a type of mourning that will allow for the becoming of art as a verb? I mourn the image, for time passing, for remembering the moment that I have failed to capture for it is an impossible task. I mourn because in order to remember I must erase its image. All I have left are traces which I can conserve.

The language of photography lends itself to the art of mourning. The idea of the grain of the silver, the grain of the paper, the grain of the image- it is part of the life cycle. The fruit will die, but its flesh will fertilize the seed it bears and more fruit will grow again. The image will always be able to be reproduced, if it is fixed on the negative. But what if I do not wish it to be reproduced? What if through reproduction, therein lies the death of image, for the original trace is what I wish to conserve?

Previously I have worked with pinhole photography, as it utilised the fundamental concepts of light drawing shadows and explored the concept of time conservation. The camera’s eye is always open, and it is it that directs the image, not I as an artist. It offers a lens-less camera, allowing for all information in front of its gaze to be recorded, especially those that pass before it are rendered invisible. I wanted to go one step further. I wanted to become the camera, to step inside the camera, to bear the image, and become part of the shadow. From the body of the camera obscura, the images are born still as they are in constant movement, they are not captured or fixed, and are allowed to pass with time and light. The image remains in flux. Only when it is captured through another means, i.e. by another camera, then the image reproduced is one that is dead, a memorial to the event. It is never the original trace.

The ‘photographs’ that I have created are a sample of my time inside the camera obscura, which I built specifically for this project. With the passing of clouds, the swaying of trees and the blinding light of the sun tracing their patterns on the floor and the wall upside down and inverted, hours pass and I trace the trees using ink and hair on rice paper, evoking their memory and movement. Using clay and rice flour, I attempt to ‘whiten’ myself to receive the image on my body. When the sun is at its brightest, it casts a blinding light on the white floor, so much so the image projected onto the wall becomes dull. I ‘capture’ the sun and hide it, in order to see in the darkness. Once captured, I manipulate the light and attempt to trace its movement and interact with the shadows that can be created. In contrast to the nature of the photography that I perform with, it is a digital camera that reads the light best. Due to the nature of the space, and the light quality, the images become extremely textured and grainy, as if it was made from film. I push the digital camera as close to failure as it can possibly go before rendering a black image.

Somehow instead of the image being fixed on a secondary surface inside the camera, like on glass or film negative, inside the camera obscura, it is fixed on our retina and memory. The photograph gives birth to the remains of a presence already lost to us, but one that we must remember in order to produce again.

All work for sale, including a selection of smaller editions as 7.5x10 inches. Price on request.

1. [Light renders me invisible] 2009, manta reverse print on acrylic, 30x40 inches limited edition

2. [Outside, Inside,Upside-down, Reverse- I enter, I am not born], 2009, manta reverse print on acrylic, 30x40 inches limited edition

3. [Only When I Cast Shade on Shade will It allow me to see] 2009, manta reverse print on acrylic, 30x40 inches limited edition

4. [Two Birth Pods] 2009, manta reverse print on acrylic, 30x40 inches limited edition

5. [I cannot capture the clouds on this canvas] 2009, manta reverse print on acrylic, 30x40 inches limited edition

6. [Amongst the clouds, there is nothing to see below] 2009, manta reverse print on acrylic, 30x40 inches limited edition

MASTER OF FINE ART OPENING

2009-09-06T13:00:00.003+01:00

Welcome to the Masters Degree Show 2009

Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design is pleased to present a wide range of exciting exhibitions from this year's graduating Masters students. The Dundee Masters Show 2009 will showcase the work of over 50 students from five Masters Courses including Fine Art, Forensic Art, Medical Art, Media Arts & Imaging and Design.

This year's Masters show will take place across three venues - Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design, Centrespace at the Visual Research Centre (DCA), and the Dalhousie Building on the University of Dundee Campus.

We hope that you will be able to join us to see this vibrant, thought provoking display of work which represents the interdisciplinary emphasis and deep research ethos which underpins our masters courses.

Dates

11 September 2009 - Exhibition Preview (students & guests)

12 September to 19 September 2009 - Open to general public

Times

Exhibition Preview 6pm - 8pm

Open to General Public 11am - 5pm Monday to Sunday

Admission

Admission is free and all are welcome. You will not need a ticket to attend the exhibition.

Location

Master of Fine Art - Fine Art Studios 432 - Cooper Gallery - Lower Foyer Gallery - Room 212 Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design 13 Perth Road Dundee DD1 4HT

MSc Forensic Art & MSc Medical Art Upper Foyer Gallery Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design 13 Perth Road Dundee DD1 4HT

MSc Media Arts & Imaging Board Room Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art & Design 13 Perth Road Dundee DD1 4HT

and

Centrespace Visual Research Centre Dundee Contemporary Arts, 152 Nethergate Dundee DD1 4DY

Master of Design Foyer & Gallery, Dalhousie Building University of Dundee, Old Hawkhill Dundee DD1 4HN

It will not burn me

2009-08-10T16:00:00.001+01:00

Diaspora

2009-08-08T23:38:00.003+01:00

Over the past few months, I have the pleasure of working with Chinese/Scottish artist Pamela So as a participant in the Diaspora Project for the Edinburgh International Website. I am included as one of 'The People' (minus a few mistakes, such as I have 4 sisters, not 3) and there are some of my photographic artworks as well as various family protraits. I think Pamela has done a great job, interviewing and documenting, especially under the restraits of a website, and I look forward to seeing where the project will continue to and hope to work with her again. She can't speak Chinese either! http://www.eif.co.uk/diasporaproject/people/kam-chan

paddling in the sky

2009-08-07T14:49:00.003+01:00

A sneak preview at what I've been up to the past few months... inside my kamera obscura, I'm dipping my toes in the clouds

Invitation to Exchange: Graveyard

2009-07-31T11:54:00.000+01:00

Image courtesy of Jonathon Baxter

Phase !

2009-07-22T17:08:00.001+01:00

The process of change has begun, we have a new colour layout... new images to follow including what I am doing in the studio, future plans, and news and events... watching watching listening

A fresh look coming soon

2009-07-14T12:12:00.002+01:00

Just as the tilte suggest, there will be a fresh look coming to this blog soon. I feel as there is a change of wind in my sails, and as I have been a hermit from this blog during the wrath that was my MA dissertation and presentation, I feel I am now ready to commit fully to visual once more! It is an exciting time- with 6 weeks left to go of the MFA, I still need to actually produce a solid peice of work that someone can view rather than being performances inside giant dark camera obscuras, alone! Don't work, these images will be fixed for your viewing pleasure soon... As I embark on 'what the hell am I doing for the rest of my life' phase I am job hunting, PhD investigating, reading, subscribing, thinking, eating, running, strolling, looking, and most importantly, talking. To all those in Epiphany- check our eyes peeled for a invite to the MFA, I will try and get you all a special preview and insight prior to the Masters Show in September, such as speaking to our experiences, seeing our studios (as we have spread over the art school) and where are we going from here. To all my friends, and anyone who follows this little blog, thank you for reading. Things are on the up- new starts, new relationships, new futrue- it's all change! Hell, maybe I'll cut my hair myself...

2009-04-04T12:29:00.002+01:00

O Nought Zero (KWC)/ CCC

2009-03-11T22:51:00.003Z

Images by Kam Chan, Wenhua Chen and Catriona Whiteford

memory lane

2009-03-07T21:42:00.002Z

S5030285, originally uploaded by Hoi-Kam Chan.

I cannot believe that this was 2 years ago, must return- a must for any artist to visit Berlin!

2009-03-07T21:35:00.005Z

DSCF5609, originally uploaded by Hoi-Kam Chan.

Exqusite Corpse- performative event in the Cooper Gallery

2009-03-07T21:35:00.004Z

ENGAGE

2009-03-07T19:56:00.002Z

Artists Working with Galleries and their Audiences

Thursday 26 March 2009 10.00 - 16.30

Type	One Day Seminar/Conference
Study Mode	One Day Event
Entry Requirements	Booking essential
Cost	£15 - £90
Summary	This event brings together people involved in several recent projects in the visual arts in Scotland with the aim of looking at how galleries and other arts organisations have been working with artists to deliver projects for their audiences. Not all the projects have been gallery-based, some are more research orientated and others are firmly rooted in delivering activity to audiences. We will explore what motivates galleries and artists to work in this way and discuss whether these motivations are always the same – and whether that matters. This is an opportunity for participants to hear about several recent projects in Scotland – and to place these projects in context with each other and their own work. Who should come: This event is aimed at gallery educators, artists, cultural coordinators, outreach officers and others who are interested in discussing socially engaged and participatory arts practice in galleries. Programme: The morning session will feature presentations from each of the projects. Afternoon sharing practice sessions: In the afternoon we will break out into smaller discussion groups with presenters from the morning for more in depth discussion. Participants will have the chance to discuss their own projects with the group. Exhibition Tour: At the end of the day there will be a tour of DCA’s exhibition, The Associates. The projects to be discussed are: • Recreate – Maria Harper and artists involved in this project for Stills, Edinburgh Sculpture Workshop and Edinburgh Printmakers discuss their collaboration with the public in Edinburgh with the purpose of exploring contemporary visual art. www.stills.org/recreate.html • Parallel Lives, National Galleries of Scotland - Robin Baillie and Richie Cumming from National Galleries of Scotland, (NGS), and an artist who was involved in the project, discuss Parallel Lives and the issues that have emerged for NGS through working with audiences and artists in this way. www.nationalgalleries.org/education/project/6:221/4835 • Praktika/Visual Arts Residency at Callendar House, Falkirk – Alex Hetherington and Janie Nicoll will reflect on their experience of the Praktika critical workshop for artists involved in socially engaged art practice at Deveron Arts in Huntly as well as their year as Artists in Residence at Callendar House, Falkirk. www.deveron-arts.com/wb/pages/projects/praktika.php www.alexhetherington.com http://falkirkresidency.blogspot.com/ www.axisweb.org/artist/janienicoll
Organisation	engage Scotland Tel: 020 7729 5858 Fax: 020 7739 3688 email: info@engage.org web: www.engagescotland.org.uk
Delivery Venue	DCA, Dundee Contemporary Arts 152 Nethergate Dundee DD1 4DY See http://www.dca.org.uk/visit/index.html for venue information.
Booking Info	Fees including lunch and a copy of the Praktika publication: £15 artist/freelancer/student bursary (limited availability) £25 engage personal members & artists/freelancers £70 engage organisational members £90 non members Please complete the booking form and return it to engage (address details on the form) by post, fax or email. Please call 020 7729 5858 to book by phone or for information in another format.
PDF	A PDF file is available about this event. Click here to view the PDF.

MY ART IS DEAD

2009-02-12T21:17:00.000Z

New Blog directly relating to my current MFA practice and dissertation. for more detailed and day to day events please refer to myartisdead.wordpress.com. Cheers!

2009-01-28T20:03:00.002Z

26th January 2009, Chinese New Year of the Ox. New resolutions and new directions, “events do not only undo representation, they also undo hopes to reconcile different narratives”। Jean Francois Lyotard. Events can conserve, and by doing so allows us to let go, to release. Holding onto the subject as an object rejects the possibility of freedom. Let us free the grain, from the wood, from the photograph, from the field. Let them be ghosts, cutting the ties of the matrix, of the rhizome. What is left? There are echoes of traces, detritus, and memories; affirmation in the mourning of practice, but not of loss, but instead of release. Different elements to explore or not to explore: Woodcuts that trace the grain and collect the cuttings as evidence of the conversation between action and reaction. Reject the mass production of prints of a take-away “with fried rice” era. Performative events, including ‘Life is Over, if you want it’. As an exquisite corpse, we unfold stories in action. Inspired by the Ghostbusters (N.B. the cartoons of the 80’s, not the film), I look to the Three Fates and the Golden Shears cutting the threads that connect me to these stories and to this Other. Playing with my camera, and pinhole images, of multiples and layering. Working through anamnesis. Rice! There is some thought with the connection of the grain being mass-produced for mass consumption and it being removed from the husk and bleached white. I’m still thinking… Grey. Gray. I am always drawn to this hue. To it’s non- descriptive defence. Why? These in-between states, neither black nor white. Subtle, barely there. Hint of. Echo. Ghostly. The dissertation, as with all my writing that has come before, will be fully entwined with my practice with them both acting as separate vessels for the same cause. Art as death, once the Event is over, the product produced, the maker no longer makes, and the action thus dies. We mourn the presence of the work and the time passes. We witness the results and in doing so, it no longer exists. It dies. So what is the point? Why bother? Our very affirmation is that we are finite. So it is a celebration of living, not death. In mourning we celebrate. In mourning, art gives reason. Or something like that. We’ll see what happens in Semester 3.

The Exquisite Corpse

2009-01-18T19:44:00.000Z

"The image is a pure creation of the mind. It cannot be born from a comparison but from a juxtaposition of two more or less distant realities. The more the relationship between the two juxtaposed realities is distant and true, the stronger the image will be -- the greater its emotional power and poetic reality... "[Pierre Reverdy, Nord-Sud, March 1918] more to follow...

Lanark Loch

2008-12-30T20:12:00.001Z

Lanark Loch, originally uploaded by Hoi-Kam Chan.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-22T15:45:00.001Z

winter, originally uploaded by Hoi-Kam Chan.

Semester 1 presentation

2008-12-10T13:51:00.008Z

stu rep

2008-11-24T17:40:00.002Z

Student’s report Communicating ideas and research effectively, including the reading, the writing and the practice. How they function together and separately. Large area of interests, but where is my focus now, what is important to my thinking now? Develop an hierarchy, where it does not exclude nor incorporate areas that may not have a direct influence to my area of research but are still related within my interests. Allow things to exist as they are as pockets of information that take turns in coming forward together or separately to guide me in my current area of interest. Questioning the context, what is art practice, what is it to me, what does it look like, how can I use it as a tool, a challenge? Moving forward: being more confident, or brave to explore areas which do not fit traditional modes. Allow myself to explore the reading and the writing if that is where my interest is at the moment. Develop ways of effectively communicating my ideas to others, so it doesn’t only make sense to myself. Happening, Event, process, void, in-between, questions, challenges, parallelism, presentation. Sp[lit the thinking between the work, along for a dialogue to emerge from the thinking to the writing to the practice. Thinking about woodcut printmaking, stop thinking about the need to produce an image, a product, but the focus more on the development of working through the grain. The reading and writing should illustrate my thinking and work, and not the other way around. Perhaps begin recording what I’m thinking/ speaking. Give my ‘alter ego’ a name and allow one mode of working be developed by them, and another by the ‘real’ me. Activites, accomplishments, achievements, states.

Artificial

2008-11-10T11:02:00.001Z

When I said that there was a natural conflict between the two states of being, that was a lie. I suppose I would I was lazy and chose easier language and for the fact I would like to believe that it is indeed natural, but in fact it is completely fabricated and artificial as I realise that I am still rebelling against the notion of being essentially Chinese... Hopefully things will become clearer over the next few weeks...

A thanks...

2008-11-10T11:00:00.001Z

...to K.Malcolm Richards for the Art Historian's Studio.

The Purest of Bastards (in the best possible sense)

2008-11-08T13:26:00.002Z

"The trace, where the relationship with the other is marked, articulates its possibility in the entire field of the entity, which metaphysics has defined as the being-present starting from the occulted movement of the trace. The trace must be thought before the entity. But the movement of the trace is necessarily occulted, it produces itself as self-occultation. When the other announces itself as such, it presents itself in the dissimulation of itself." From the Art Historian's Studio. Clearly several extracts from Derrida's writing, which I too can asssociate through. Excuse all the cross posting, I'm trying to gather as much resources and thoughts whilst encouraging my own through reflection and debate. There are a lot more on this guy's page, who he is I cannot find, but facinating none the less. Curiouser and curiouser....

Rhizome part deux

2008-11-07T14:31:00.002Z

I googled images: rhizome I did not draw this but I wish I did

The Postcard: From Socrates to Freud and Beyond- Derrida

2008-11-07T14:01:00.002Z

Product Description 17 November 1979 You were reading a somewhat retro loveletter, the last in history. But you have not yet received it. Yes, its lack or excess of address prepares it to fall into all hands: a post card, an open letter in which the secret appears, but indecipherably. What does a post card want to say to you? On what conditions is it possible? Its destination traverses you, you no longer know who you are. At the very instant when from its address it interpellates, you, uniquely you, instead of reaching you it divides you or sets you aside, occasionally overlooks you. And you love and you do not love, it makes of you what you wish, it takes you, it leaves you, it gives you. On the other side of the card, look, a proposition is made to you, S and p, Socrates and plato. For once the former seems to write, and with his other hand he is even scratching. But what is Plato doing with his outstretched finger in his back? While you occupy yourself with turning it around in every direction, it is the picture that turns you around like a letter, in advance it deciphers you, it preoccupies space, it procures your words and gestures, all the bodies that you believe you invent in order to determine its outline. You find yourself, you, yourself, on its path. The thick support of the card, a book heavy and light, is also the specter of this scene, the analysis between Socrates and Plato, on the program of several others. Like the soothsayer, a "fortune-telling book" watches over and speculates on that-which-must-happen, on what it indeed might mean "to happen, to arrive, to have to happen" or "arrive, to let "or "to make happen "or "arrive, to destine, to address, to send, to legate, toinherit," etc., if it all still signifies, between here and there, the near and the far, "da und fort," the one or the other. You situate the subject of the book: between the posts and the analytic movement, the pleasure principle and the history of telecommunications, the post card and the purloined letter, in a word the transference from Socrates to Freud, and beyond. This satire of epistolary literature had to be farci, stuffed with addresses, postal codes, crypted missives, anonymous letters, all of it confided to so many modes, genres, and tones. In it I also abuse dates, signatures, titles or references, language itself. J. D. "With "The Post Card," as with "Glas," Derrida appears more as writer than as philosopher. Or we could say that here, in what is in part a mock epistolary novel (the long section is called "Envois," roughly, "dispatches" ), he stages his writing more overtly than in the scholarly works. . . . "The Post Card" also contains a series of self-reflective essays, largely focused on Freud, in which Derrida is beautifully lucid and direct."--Alexander Gelley, "Library Journal"

The Rhizome

2008-11-06T13:31:00.002Z

In the botanical sense, a rhizome is a root system that some plants (like lilies and orchids and ginger and bamboo) use to spread themselves about. While the roots of most plants point generally downward, the rhizome is a horizontal root system that runs parallel to the surface of the ground. The plant sends shoots up from nodes in the rhizome, creating what look like many seperate plants. These seemingly unrelated individuals are actually all connected, through a system that's not immediately visible to the eye. (extract from a web source somewhere that I have long forgotten!) I like the examples used, which have strong chinese aesthetic leanings...hmmmm

food

2008-11-01T22:57:00.001Z

sweet and sour won ton, wan tonne BBC= black bean and chicken 1/2 1/2 with sweet and sour sauce

Pinhole photographs

2008-09-29T13:08:00.001+01:00

DSCF1635, originally uploaded by Hoi-Kam Chan.

from degree show 2008

Programme of Study, semester 1 MFA

2008-09-29T11:32:00.000+01:00

Continuing from my undergraduate studies my work seeks to integrate my fine art practice with philosophical enquiry, allowing for a practice-based philosophy. I am currently exploring themes in duality, time, existence and communication within my own personal experience of being ‘Chinese’ but without a narrative. My main interests include using traditional methods in new conceptual outputs, such as woodblock printmaking, moveable type and typewriters, pinhole cameras and drawing. It is about making work in situ, conserving not capturing time, creating artificial events to allow the Other to exist, durational and performative processes. I have been researching woodblock printmaking, especially that which is held within the Muban Foundation at the British Library. Artists are from varied backgrounds and mediums, such as Anthony Gormley, Francesca Woodman, Xu Bing and Ann Hamilton covering installation, sculpture, photography and printmaking. I am interested in the Figure not the Figurative, Communication and not Narrative. Other research stems from my philosophical background, including Deleuze (especially Francis Bacon: the Logic of Sensation), Badiou, Lyotard, Merleau-Ponty, and more recently Derrida, and his notions of deconstruction. In my dissertation it was very much centred around my art practice informing the work and vice versa. A much more recent investigation is the area of Quantum mechanics. The concept derived from the fact I was attempting to see how can two people from within the same body exist and communicate and the same time in the same place. The concept of conserving time within a pinhole camera, allowing a single eye see two people expanded to how light can be both particle and wave, and single photons splitting into two. It was the science of how an image developed with the pinhole cameras, using paper development rather than film. I loved the idea that it would be a mirror image to that it was seeing. This Black box seeing all that we could not see through its single eye, a kino eye, became very figure-like. I plan to investigate several threads within my work. In philosophy it will mostly be independent research consisting of attending James Williams’s undergraduate level 4 lecture series on the Philosophy of Time, as well as the Royal Institute of Philosophy research seminars and additional conferences, workshops and reading groups as they come around. In Fine art I want to develop a more instinctive and minimal method to woodblock printmaking, but continue to show all the processes involved by preserving the wood. I want to further construct and improve on the design process of the pinhole cameras that I have made before, perhaps even making them life size to expand the development time to 24 hours. To further explore the avenues of a perfomative philosophical process practice by any means that emerge through the above research. I hope through the MFA I can improve my writing so to present papers at Philosophical conferences with an interest in interdisciplinary aesthetics to push for more opportunities to be made available for hybrid courses. I also wish to gain a real insight in Chinese art practices to perhaps better inform my ignorance on my heritage. The work that I explore is not so much my identity but why do I exist in this state of flux between two different states of being a British Born Chinese (BBC). I feel there must be a removal to get to the root, to the particle, to simplify and perhaps there can be a space that allows this to happen, for the same body be in two places at the same time.

Proper start

2008-09-29T11:26:00.002+01:00

This is my first proper week, without having to go to work and can now fully submit myself to my studies. It's an interesting start, we had to submit a Programme of Study to being to contextualise our thinking and where we plan to go from here. Also later today we will be having our first group presentations. I'm quite comfortable talking now to groups of people but I'm a bit wary about my work at the momnet being very much backward and not forward, but then its only week 2. I'm hoping that I will get some good feedback (good or bad) as I'm quite aware now that I'm not very clear in what I say. Is this a bad idea, will this work, does it make sense??? I promised myself that I would enjoy this year more as the pressure seems less intense than that at undergraduate level. I have my degree, and whilst this is no less intense, and I plan to work even harder and really push myself, I refuse to let this depress me so much. I think it helps, that we appear to have a nice group, no major egos to bruise, and everyone is still at that stage of being very nice. I hope stays that way, its great when you can a great studio vibe and feeding off each others energies and ideas.

New academic year...

2008-09-20T16:12:00.001+01:00

My, it has been awhile since I embarked on this blogging marlarky... Well, after the ritual Post degree show depression, I really felt I didn't achieve what I hoped for, but after haing a detox from art (and thinking in general) I am now fresh, full of ideas and excited about starting the master of fine art! I did a lot of reflecting, and realised that you cannot compare yourself to other artists, as they are in a different league to yourself. I was comparing myself with painters and scuptors, when I am a practice based philosopher. Once that made sense, my self esteem is not so crappy after all. So as the next 12 months unfold, I will be trying to be more thoughtful and kep this blog updated as a journal to my journey- what am I going to do? Who knows? Will it be any good? Got me! Will I go mad and start speaking in tongues? Most likey...

Old woodcut, but still one of my faves. Need to get back in the woodshed...

2008-05-30T16:25:00.003+01:00

Footloose

2008-05-28T23:06:00.003+01:00

Hey McAdam...

2008-05-28T21:54:00.003+01:00

East shed/ west shed/ my shed/ your shed

Monomania- Thanks Michelle!

2008-05-28T21:39:00.003+01:00

Needed some colour- how cool is this!

2008-05-26T16:26:00.002+01:00

2008-05-26T13:53:00.002+01:00

Kam Chan: How it should be done

2008-05-26T13:46:00.000+01:00

http://www.ricefield.co.uk/ http://www.gpsart.co.uk/

How it should be done

2008-05-26T13:43:00.001+01:00

Irony

2008-05-26T00:22:00.005+01:00

It's a bit daft to set up a blog~cum~website to my art when I am in mood considering to give up art all together. Which also means for me to give up living. For art is not a choice; it is not a choice whether to make it nor is it a means to an end like a job. I do because I have to. I do because I want some answers.

After 4 years of art school, I have no answers. I am left with more questions.

Post degree show, I am fully deflated. Whether or not I walk this path I have made I have not decided yet. Should I give up on art now? That would be impossible to say, I wouldn't give it up completely, but perhaps give it up to live. Have a life other than the one I am living. This duality that I exist in cannot be sustained. I am not aggressive enough, assertive enough, loud enough to make it.

I am subtle. I am quiet. I am the background. I fade away.

an mag

2008-05-25T18:37:00.004+01:00

have a look

not so new blogging

2008-05-25T18:17:00.007+01:00

From undergraduate to graduate to possible post graduate. Where to go now is the question. Degree show is now finished, but I will continue to document on the A-N magazine blog, simply because it's got more on. I'm currently at a crossroads, one full of negative thoughts, low self confidence and difficult decisions. It's ironic, that I thought I knew exactly what to do, but when the time came to getting our degree results, I had no idea what to do as the options became more apparent to what i intially expected. I have an amazing opportunity but will i waste it...?